Bad Tattoo Goes Good

Okay so last Friday I went and got another tattoo, it's #6 for me, and after a lot of excitement about getting it, I came out of the situation feeling very disappointed. Now I am not going to show you my tattoo and if you see me anytime between now and next Saturday I am going to do my best to hide it from you even though it's on my forearm. Okay, and enough from those of you are thinking "stupid people getting stupid tattoos" or "why'd you get one on your arm for everyone to see." To answer both of you there was an article in today's STL Post entitled something like from "Tattoos: From Taboo to Rage" I don't like the title either, but that's beside the point. Oh and I like tattoos, I want lots, probably won't ever have them covering my body, but I like them.

So back to the bad tattoo.... It's a feather, it's a simply drawn feather that was executed poorly, I could have tattooed it on myself, Marley could have done it even better. Even the tattoo that Declan gave himself in middle school when he asked his teacher if he could bring his India Ink project home turned out better than mine. The lines are not clean, there is bleeding already, it looks "blown" in some spots, it's just bad. So I talked to the owner of the shop, who actually works at another shop now (Trader Bob's) and he was more than happy to fix/replace my tattoo. He made me feel soooo good and validated, and was just a pleasure to be around and that says a lot about a guy that looks as though he is covered from head to toe in tattoos. I've got my tune up scheduled for next Saturday, and maybe then I will show you a before and after tattoo, but I don't know if I really want to remember this one. And after looking through some of my old calenders this evening I was even thinking about getting something else done while there like some Nikki McClure style leaves, or pussy willow, or waves, something. Maybe not though

Actually if you look close enough on the first picture in my last post you can see just a tiny sliver of it on my right forearm.

FO: Ink Stain Halter

Pattern: Tea Rose Halter by Wenlan Chia, Interweave Knits Spring 2007

Yarn: Arucania Nature Cotton, 2.5 skeins

Needles: #13 just for casting on, and #10 for the body

Notes: I had been wanting to knit this since I saw it a couple of years ago, but for some reason never did. And this yarn has been sitting aside for something perfect since I brought it back as a souvenir from our trip to Atlanta last summer. I have 5 or 6 skeins of it so I really could have done something bigger, but nothing seemed to fit the yarn. The yarn is really heavy which made me worry about knitting a garment from it, but I was careful in my choice and I think this top was a smart option. This top looked really nice in the yarn it was originally knit with, and I like a lot of the ones I found on Ravelry and I noticed that none of them were done in a yarn as textured as the stuff I choose, so I was a little nervous, but still went with it. I used a smaller needle for the body, it was said to knit it on #11's. There were a couple of reasons for that, one being I really don't like large needles and I felt that #11's were out of my comfortable knitting zone, casting on with the #13 was awful :( Another reason was that I wanted to knit the body fairly tight in hopes it would hold itself together a little bit more. Maybe there was even a little laziness in finding the needle it called for, either way I made a good choice.

It knit up so fast too! I cast on at knit night and stayed up until 2am Thursday morning finishing it. I really wanted to wear it to work. I'm glad I wore it to work too because I had someone say to me, if you read this you know who you are, "you could wear it with out the top underneath for your husband." Never thought I would hear that from a customer, but she isn't your typical one :) I also feel like it's a good sign that I want to wear it today too. Oh and it held up really well!

We have this little record table next to our front door, and on it is a little bowl that holds keys, usually my id, random important things, and while I was taking these pictures Abe decided to pull everything out of it and throw it on the ground. Thank you sweet boy. What is he doing right now? He is switching between emptying out my knitting bag, pulling all of the DVDs out of the cabinet and taking his diaper off. He does know what "no" means and it after finding a piece of bubblegum and sticking it still wrapped in his mouth I was able to tell him "no", and even though he was upset he handed the gum over to me.

Shawls for Early Risers

You know I love Abe to death, but he has recently started waking up earlier and earlier, and it is really making me go crazy. I have never been an early riser, and I definitely stay up much later than I should, and Abe is really making me rethink the 12am-1am bedtime. Monday he was up at 6:45am, Tuesday at 6:20am, and get this... this morning he was up at 5:45am. I am not used to this at all. Marley slept until 9am, even after going to bed at 7pm, plus she would take a 3 hour nap. So anyway, Abe and I have been up for a while, and surprisingly I like being up early. It's quiet, Abe is all smiles this early, it's not too hot out, lots of knitting time, I can sit and drink coffee. This morning we watched a little Happy Feet because last night I was up way to late catching up on Season 1 of True Blood, and then we went and got coffee, and then a walk on Delmar, and then outside for a bit, all before 8am. I may one of these days start doing housework or something productive like that.

A couple of weeks ago I started the Swallowtail Shawl with some Habu Textiles cotton, and it was going really well I think I can even quote myself in saying that I was "smitten". Well it was going great, 4 repeats in, and the sweet boy of mine managed to not only pull out my needles, but pull the yarn out too. I couldn't be mad at him, but I did put it aside and vowed not to touch it for a while. Monday night I cast on again, and so far so good. Those Addi Lace needles have been a huge help. After the big thing last week I cast on for a mindless project for a friend of mine that is moving to Scotland at the end of the summer. I am calling it the Please Don't Go, but if You Have to Stay Warm Because I Hear Scotland Can Give You a Bit of A Chill From Time to Time Shawl. We can refer to it as the PDGBIYHTSWBIHSCGYABOACFTTT Shawl, much easier to remember. The yarn is Noro Sakura, and after having it in my stash for 2+ years I think it has found it's forever home.

New Camera!

Well, after a rough few days I got an unexpected birthday surprise from Declan, plus thanks to his doing a lot of other people (Mom and Don, Brian and Suzanne -the in laws, Wes and Michelle, and our friends Aaron and Erin). Declan is such a good guy and got everyone to chip in to replace my camera. They all knew how much I missed it, and it was a terrific present. So off to Best Buy and I got my new Canon, that has complete manual functions as well as the standard that the digital cameras have to offer. Anyway, I'm smitten and here are some of my favorites from this afternoon.

Our first tomato of the season!

Marley caught General Tso.

Sailor :)

The Day After

Before I go any farther, please excuse or pass over any of these painful blogs, this helps me though.

I do want you to know that you need to take care of your friends. If there is something they are trying to hide, call them out on it. Once, right after high school, Erika and I met for coffee and while we were on the phone planning it she told me not to say anything about the way she looked. I knew what was going to be meeting me there. I didn't say anything. I tried to push it out of my mind. She went through these ups and down, and it seemed like when she shrank it was to half of her normal weight. Strangely enough I only have pictures of her when she was doing better, this is something I am thankful for, and right now I am trying to find those little things. Last summer Declan and I met her and her boyfriend at the Botanical Gardens, she met Abe and even held him, I remember putting him in his little Cardinals shirt, because I knew she was a baseball fan, anyway... when I saw her then she was not doing well. She was painful to look at, and I kept thinking about what everyone else had to be thinking when she walked by them. After that I realized that I couldn't quietly let her suffer. I got in touch with another friend of hers to see how she was doing, called a couple of eating disorder clinics to ask for advice and help, and even called her Mom. Her sweet, sweet Mom was very receptive to me trying to find her help, because she knew that Erika was fighting a losing battle at that point. I remember arguing with myself about what to do next. I thought about my growing family, my job, and the stress Declan was under, and decided that there wasn't much I could do except let her know I was thinking of her, and to try to keep in touch.

Come winter and I was having a hard time contacting her. I was hoping everything was going well, and that maybe her busy social schedule and job were keeping her busy. Just a few weeks ago, maybe a month or two, we finally talked again. She told me that she had been getting treatment, which was when she openly admitted to getting help. She was receiving help at the McCallum Place, which was one of the places I had spoken to and looked up online and they offered much help to me in how to help her. I finally told her how worried I was about her, 13 years later I told her I worried. Even though I was scared I told her about my efforts to get her help and she was so thankful, as I was to hear that she had found some. We even talked about having lunch together, and she said that it was really helpful having people around her when she was eating.

Tell you friends to get help! The happy comes knowing that she knew I was rooting for her. I can have peace in that. I could not have had peace in knowing that her disease was so big that it turned me into a coward.

I also worked up the courage to call her Mom this morning. Her Mom was her biggest cheerleader and I hope that she feels like she is part of the reason that Erika lived as long as she did. Her Mom told me that while going through her computer last night they came across a will that Erika had written in December. She obviously knew the delicate place her life was. She told me that Erika had mentioned me in her will as a good friend that she loved and respected, that is another happy, knowing that I meant as much to her as she did to me. Her funeral will be tomorrow and stupidly I think about what I will wear and why I can't just wear jeans. And then my sweet friend will be buried on Saturday.

Her Mom told me to talk to Erika and let her know everyday that I love her, and last night I did. It was hard having Declan go to work, and me alone in the house, because it's in those quiet times that things get really hard. As I laid in bed, not wanting to read, not wanting to go to sleep I talked to her. I asked her what it was like where she was, and if there was really anything after all of this. I remember her wearing this butterfly ring, and I think she had a necklace too, and while I was talking to her I noticed the butterflies that Marley had made and taped to our wall were fluttering. I know it was from the fan, but I think it was maybe her too.

I have to let all of my family and friends know I love them. And I have to know that no matter what shows on your face, like the smile she always had, that something can be tormenting them, and that they need to know that I am there, thinking about them.

6.24.09

Today I lost a very good friend of mine. My friend Erika had been suffering from an eating disorder for as long as I can remember, and we became friends our freshmen year of high school. She dealt with this on and off and I had always hoped when I saw her at her normal weight that she had finished with it, beat it. Erika was a beautiful woman. She had a kind heart but always had a snappy/snarky comment for you when you needed it. She is the only friend of mine from high school that always sent me Christmas cards and birthday cards. She always let me know how much I meant to her. We had lost touch over the past couple of years, as friends do from time to time. And we were beginning to try to find the time to get together a couple of weeks ago after she had just spent a few months in treatment for her eating disorder. When we talked after she got out, it was the first time that she openly admitted to me that she had a problem, but it was one of those things that was always there and that we both knew about. Today at 2:30pm Erika died of a heart attack at almost 27 years old.

Because it feels better I want to tell you about some of the things we did together. She was one of my bridesmaids. Her nickname is high school was Bogie. We threw a party at a friends house when he wasn't in town. We worked on yearbook together. We stayed out way too late, and got in to trouble together. We went to Atlanta together in high school. She held my hair back and I held her hair back after long nights of drinking. She came to see Marley after she was born. She drove a bright blue Dodge Neon when those things were "cool". We almost ended our friendship over a guy named Matt that worked at Target. We were each others dates to dances. We stayed up late talking to her Mom, Edna. We would go to TJ's Diner in South County and drink coffee and smoke cigarettes all night long. She was terrified of babies. We worked at New Lady Fitness together. She took me out for my 21st birthday and got me to sing karaoke. We liked guys that were going off to SEMO. We watched the Cardinals win the world series while drinking at some bar in South County. She was a cheerleader, a big sister, a daughter, a girlfriend, a best friend. We sewed our wild oats together.

My 21 st Birthday

Erika, and the cowboy at my Bachlorette party, got to love this one.

Erika the bridesmaid.

Can't explain this one.

Before Sweetheart Dance with our bestfriend Kaye.

Senior Prom, Erika, Kaye and I

I will miss her smile, her humor, her cards, and the beautiful person she was and always will be.

Steek!

I did it! I steeked my Epaulet Jacket! Here is the method I used, the crocheted steek. Declan and I were watching The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons (finally) and he kept looking at me like I was crazy, talking about cutting my knitting and all. I knit a tiny little swatch up before hand and then steeked it to help me gather my strength. After cutting I pulled on it the best I could to see if it would come apart, and you know what... it didn't. The steek ended up leaving such nice edges, and they don't roll they just fold back at the steek. If knitting flat takes up so much time, what with purling and all, and turning your work, I don't know what people don't just steek. I say that, but let's see how my next project goes. Anyway, it went well, I'm happy, here are pictures. I still haven't gotten my camera fixed, but our house guests have kindly let me use theirs.

Muddle Puddles

Wednesday (I think), after work I decided to let the kids loose in the mud that had developed in the backyard after that series of rainy days we had. Abe got stripped down to his nappies, and even though he wasn't entirely sure what to think about the mud, I was able to get a few good pictures of him playing in it.

WIP: Techicolor Epaulet Jacket

I started this guy a few weeks ago after mulling over yarn to use for the pattern, it dawned on me that I had enough Malabrigo stashed away to make it work. Now the Malabrigo was all different colors, and one of the colors, that I had the most of I decided against, canary yellow, not my color, but that didn't stop me from casting on. That Elizabeth Zimmerman, she was one hell of a lady, and this pattern is another great one of hers. It's basically a top down sweater, with saddles, and I love the garter stitch. I kept thinking that it wasn't going to fit me, my shoulders aren't that small, and someone even asked me if it was for Marley, but I kept on, and so far the fit seems pretty perfect.

It isn't knit in the round, but I got tired of the back and forth garter stitch. The weight of it, the fact that it eats yarn like my cat goes through cat food were among the reasons that I decided to add a few extra stitches (4) for a steek and join the sucker to work in the round. It has since grown much faster, and I think maybe this weekend I will steek it. EEEE!!! It is my first steek, and I think that is a pretty big deal, who ever thought to take scissors to their knitting?? Well I'm going to give it a go. I hear it's not really that big of a deal after you do it, but isn't everything that way?

The colors aren't entirely true in the photos, and obviously pay no attention to the time stamp. That pink on the sleeve is a little more neon, bubblegum than it lets on, also under the teal is a block of "Velvet Grape". That color ended up being the perfect tie in... thank you Andi. I am thinking the other sleeve will just be random single ridge stripes of all of the colors so far, and the bottom band of garter stitch, and the button band (post steek) will be the red that I started with at the neck line. I've tried to keep the color changes fairly mindless, but that does get a little difficult.

PS- the pattern is Cully's Epaulet Jacket by Elizabeth Zimmerman, from Knitting Workshop